Living with Chronic Illness

Self-Care and the Art of Thriving

At 57, I have lived with chronic illness long enough to understand both its challenges and its lessons. My body, once strong and capable, now requires patience, gentleness, and a level of attention I never imagined in my younger years. Chronic illness is an uninvited companion, shaping my days and defining my limitations, but it has also taught me the value of true self-care—not just the trendy kind that involves face masks and bubble baths, but the deep, intentional care that allows me to live as well as possible within my circumstances.

Living with a long-term illness means accepting that life does not unfold as it once did. There are days when energy flows more freely, and I can enjoy a slow walk or a conversation with a friend. But there are also days when even the simplest tasks—brushing my hair, making tea, answering an email—feel insurmountable. Self-care, in this context, is about managing my limited energy wisely and making choices that support my well-being rather than deplete it. Over the years, I have developed strategies that help me navigate this reality, and I hope they can help others who are walking a similar path.

1. Honoring Your Body’s Needs

One of the hardest but most important lessons I’ve learned is to listen to my body. It communicates constantly, sending whispers before it screams. Ignoring early signs of fatigue or pain never serves me well—it only leads to longer recovery times and greater discomfort. Instead of pushing through, I have learned to pause, to rest when needed, and to set realistic expectations for myself.

A key part of this is pacing. Rather than using up all my energy on a good day, I spread tasks out over time, allowing for rest breaks and moments of recovery. I also prioritize tasks, focusing on what truly needs to be done and letting go of what isn’t essential. It has taken me a few years to learn that rest is not a luxury but a necessity.

2. Cultivating a Gentle Daily Routine

Routine can be a powerful ally when living with chronic illness. I wake up slowly, allowing my body time to adjust before starting my day. My mornings include stretches that ease stiffness and a few quiet moments of meditation or deep breathing. Rather than rushing, I permit myself to move through the day at a sustainable pace.

I also structure my days around energy levels. Mornings, when I tend to have the most energy, are reserved for important activities. Afternoons, when fatigue sets in, are for answering work emails, rest, reading, or light tasks. Evening routines include winding down early, reducing screen time, and creating a soothing environment for sleep—one of the most precious resources for anyone with a chronic condition.

3. Nourishing the Body with Food and Hydration

Eating well is another form of self-care. While there is no single diet that works for everyone, I have found that simple, whole foods make the biggest difference in how I feel. I focus on protein, healthy fats, and vegetables, avoiding excessive sugar and processed foods that can contribute to inflammation and energy crashes. Remember, there are no “food police”, eat the foods you enjoy and feel good in your body; including chocolate or ice cream.

Hydration is just as important. I keep a reusable water bottle nearby and drink water throughout the day. Staying hydrated helps with energy levels, digestion, and even cognitive function—all areas that can be affected by chronic illness.

4. Setting Boundaries and Learning to Say No

One of the hardest but most liberating lessons I have learned is how to say no. There was a time when I felt guilty for declining invitations or stepping back from responsibilities. Now, I understand that my health must come first.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-preservation. I limit social engagements to what I can comfortably handle, and I surround myself with people who understand my limitations rather than pressure me to push past them. I have also learned to ask for help when I need it, whether that means delegating household tasks or seeking emotional support.

5. Finding Joy in Small Moments

Chronic illness has forced me to slow down, but in doing so, I have discovered the beauty of simple pleasures. A cup of tea in the afternoon sun, the laughter of a friend, the comfort of a well-loved book—these moments matter. They remind me that joy is not found in grand achievements but in the quiet, everyday experiences that make life meaningful.

Creativity has also been a source of healing. On difficult days, when physical activity is limited, I turn to audiobooks, crocheting, or listening to music. These activities keep my mind engaged and provide a sense of accomplishment, even when my body feels weak.

6. Prioritizing Mental and Emotional Well-being

Living with chronic illness is not just a physical challenge—it is an emotional one as well. Grief, frustration, and loneliness are all part of the experience. I have learned that acknowledging these emotions, rather than suppressing them, is essential to my well-being.

Journaling has become a valuable tool, allowing me to process my thoughts and release stress. Meditation and deep breathing exercises help calm my nervous system, especially during moments of overwhelm. And when needed, I reach out to a therapist or a support group—connecting with others who understand can be incredibly validating.

7. Practicing Self-Compassion

Perhaps the most important lesson of all is self-compassion. It is easy to feel frustrated with a body that doesn’t function as it once did, to mourn the loss of energy, independence, or abilities. But I remind myself daily: I am doing the best I can with the circumstances I have.

Instead of focusing on what I can no longer do, I celebrate what I can do. I remind myself that my worth is not tied to productivity, that rest is not laziness, and that I am deserving of care and kindness—from myself most of all.

Living with chronic illness is not easy, but it has taught me resilience, patience, and the importance of nurturing myself in ways I once overlooked. Self-care is not just about treating oneself—it is about making intentional choices that support long-term well-being. By listening to my body, creating sustainable routines, nourishing myself, and embracing joy in small moments, I have learned not just to survive, but to thrive in my own way.

To those on a similar journey, I offer this: Be gentle with yourself. Honor your needs. And most of all, remember that your life, though different than you once imagined, is still filled with worth and beauty.

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Holly Gordon, MBA, has been working in prevention and public health for over 20 years, with the majority of that time with Gateway to Prevention and Recovery in Shawnee, OK.  Holly uses her love of community and connection to come alongside folks to support their wellness efforts in a sustainable way. Some of her favorite activities are meeting friends for Saturday morning coffee, listening to books and podcasts, learning new things, and meditation.